showing off my eye and cheek wrinkles...

Take this sinking boat and point it home
We've still got time
Raise your hopeful voice you have a choice
You've made it now

So, I'm 26. It is a little weird if I'm being honest. Birthdays are usually weird for me, like New Years, they are a point in the year that one is meant to reflect. This year has been a whirlwind. Last year at this time, I was just beginning to talk to josh, I was also talking to that bill guy and the eric situation was just freshly over. I was looking at 2 more years of school and starting to freak out about being in michigan forever. Since then I've fallen in love with this incredible man, I've started planning our wedding and I'm 1.5 semesters away from being a teacher!!!! 24 and 25 were rough, I felt stuck, I couldn't see anything exciting in the distance, and I felt like I was treading in the mud of school and a crappy love life. It's really incredible how different things are this year! I'm excited to start being Mrs. Lucas, I'm excited to soon be teaching and making money! I'm excited to move out and away. I'm excited to start doing what I want to do, instead of what my parents think I should be doing!

In less reflective-y-ness:

I've been slacking off on the diet front. I'm pretty happy with the results, I'm thinner than I have been for almost 10 years, and I will fit in my wedding dress when it arrives, so some of the panic is gone. But, I know that I will feel so much better on the big day, at the rehearsal dinner, at the bbq and at the showers and luncheons and whatnot if I could take 10 more lbs off before then - so I'm cracking down - bleh.

I'm trying to find a skin care regime that I like and can stick to. I need to move away from the teenage products I've been using and start thinking about protection, the sun and the future. I'll report on that later.

I ordered my crinoline, and veil yesterday! Ah!

I ordered our guestbook today!

I finally got a hold of my first mentor teacher and hopefully will be starting at CHS on monday!

Hurray! And with that, a list of things that I am newly obsessed with:
Essie Nail Polish - so shiny! Adore-A-Ball is my current crush
Frigo Cheesehead Mozzarella Sticks -mmmmmmm yum!
Lumiani shoes - oh god italian butter soft leather
Caldrea Laundry Detergent - smells soooo amazing! citrus-y fresh!
Queen Helene Mint Julep Face Mask - clean out those pores girls!!!

WTF?

Who the hell actually wants to date Flava Flav? I can maybe see the attraction to Brett Michaels, or Tila Tequila - but Flava Flav? WTF?

What is the world coming to?

84 days, 15 hrs, 20 mins and 12 seconds

Ohhh! I love you guys! My family, well more my Mum, and Josh's fam* are driving me so crazy, and you guys are so far away, your comments made my day!

On a lighter note, the shoes pictured are the ones I've decided on. I know, I know, they are not either one of the previous ones considered, but when I tried on their gorgeousness, their baby's butt italian leather, I just could not leave them in the store. Plus, they are pink, and pink makes everything better. :)

* Josh's family has decided that their long standing feud, that has nothing to do with Josh, is more important than being there for us. And considering that there are 15 of them total, when only 6 are coming it's pretty shitty.

I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again.

I've heard that this wedding planning causes stress. And I thought I understood it. I mean, its understandable that a lot of decisions + a lot of money X one of the most important events in my life would = stress. For the most part, I've found the planning process fun. I like decorating, paper crafts, throwing parties, etc so it's been good. I'm getting a little tired of the constant decision making and the constant doubting that I made the right decision, but my real stress is coming from disappointment.

Disappointment stemming from how the people closest to me react. I don't think I'm being demanding, seems reasonable to me that its the people closest to me who should be the most excited and helpful, and that hasn't really been the case. My Mum for example is driving me crazy. To give her credit she is taking on more of a role than the Mother of the Bride usually does, she's also the baker and since all my girls are far away she's my main sounding board. But, when I showed her the earrings that I bought to wear, her reaction was not, "ohhh cute" or anything like that, the reaction was "Oh, I was going to wear pearls." WTF? When I was trying to decide between 2 pairs of shoes, instead of helping me, or having a discussion about which would best match my dress, she asked if she could wear the steve madden ones. WTF?

Josh has been amazing, he's so supportive, understanding and helpful, but he can't help make decor or attire decisions due to his maleness, and he has so many wedding related jobs and chores to do already.

I consider myself a pretty low key bride. I want everyone to be comfortable and look amazing, hence why my girls are wearing dresses, shoes, jewelry etc of their choosing. We're not going on a honeymoon cause we would rather spend the money on entertaining our loved ones who are coming from far away. We are trying to be as thoughtful and aprreciative of our amazing guests as possible, is it crazy for me to think that as the bride I deserve a few perks? Like maybe first pick at earrings or shoes?

Girls who read this blog - I need you. I feel like I'm doing this all by myself and that no one cares. I know that for most people that this day that is fast approaching is just a big party, maybe it's even kind of annoying that they have to travel and spend money, to attend aforementioned big party. But for me it's the day I get to marry my best friend. The one day in my life when all of my loved ones will be in the same room. And I'm starting to feel like it's important to only me.

inability to make decisions.

I love both of them. Both are comfy. Both would match. Can. Not. Decide.

You're probably thinking, didn't that girl already find a pair of shoes? Yes, yes I did. And then I returned them, too expensive and the front strap was too big and kept rubbing me the wrong way for the price. So, back on the hunt.

the countdown begins

i'm getting married in 100 days.
in 101 days I'm moving in with the love of my life.
so excited!