you move my mind to you
my thoughts distracted by your face
you move my mind to you
memories filled
when I’m with you there’s no need to wait,
no need to wait go where you want to,
where you want to go where you want to,
take me there with you you walked right in my sight,
that’s my invite to follow you i’m dreaming of you,
dreaming of me,
dreaming of you today there’s no need to wait,
no need to wait come in close to me,
come in close
Where You Want To - The Fray

I just got home from Grand Rapids. I can't stop smiling.

I had class all weekend. But, I thought since I was going to be so close (so close = 2 hrs) to D that we might as well hang out. So I drove to GR. Arrived around 6:30. We went to a park. It was beautiful. I put my toes in the little lake. There was smiling. There was flirting. There was adjusting of underwear (2nd date = uncomfy but smokin hot undies just in case.) After walking around for awhile we went to a stirfry place for dinner. It was yummy. Discovered I got my period early when I went to the bathroom. So much for the smokin undies.

We went back to his place to watch some tv and hang out. We watched the first episode of Serenity. I actually liked it. I was surprised! It was funny and surprisingly interesting. He turned all the lights off. I kept waiting for him to make a move. Nothing. So. Hmmm. What to do. He's kissed me. And I caught him looking at my breasts a number of times during dinner. (He's not pervy, I was wearing a really plunging neckline.) Presumably he isn't repulsed by me, so I move closer. He says "Oh, so you do like me!" I'm like Huh? What? Of course I like you! Apparently I have conservative body language. I'm sure that my father would love to know that. Firstly that I am not a whore, but that apparently there is a conservative bone in my body.

There was cuddling. There was hand holding. There was kissing. He is an amazing kisser. I thought that I would not like the facial hair. But his is really soft. More tickley than picky. I love how he touches me when we kiss. My hair. My neck. My face. Just thinking about kissing him makes the whole lower half of my body contract.

He asked me to stay. It was late and he needed to go to bed, silly people with jobs, but I wasn't ready to leave. and driving 3 hours home was not the first thing on my mind at midnight. I stayed. We cuddled. I wouldn't let him take off my bra. (I've learned that when sex is not an option, god damned period, that I need to stop the heat early, but I would have loved to see where that was going.) He's incredibly sweet and thoughtful. We had good conversation too. No awkward silences.

He's one of those guys who compliments everything, not everything like annoying, but if you are doing something he likes, he tells you. I love that. He makes adorable noises when we are making out. He makes me laugh. When he smiles at me my knees weaken, my heart stops and my brain no longer works. I can't wait to see him again.


Haven't talked to G all week, but I got an email from him 2 days ago. Very "friendish." I don't know what to think. I don't know what to do. I haven't written back yet. I don't know what to say. My motivation is limited. I'm a busy kid. and he apparently only wants to be friends. I don't have time for this. But. I don't want to lose him completely...

How can boys be wonderful and terrible?