And why you always making me cry?
Why you always making me cry?
You look me in the eye
And tell me all your lies
So why you always making me cry?
Why You - Joe Purdy

Today was ridiculous. Last night I went out with some friends*, had a few drinks, so this morning when I woke up feeling shitty, I thought that it was a hangover. I thought that was a safe assumption.

I went to Eric’s for about an hour and a half, watched my show that he records for me since I’m always in class when it is on (the office) and some football. I was starting to feel a little queasy when I left, decided to stop at walmart to get some drugs, the lines were so long that I decided to look at the books for a minute, rest, and hide a bit since I was starting to cold sweat and I was pretty sure I looked like a junkie.

When I woke up, there was a kindly older man looking down at me, rubbing my hand and asking me if I was ok. Yep. That’s right. I passed out in Walmart. Classy. The guy helped me to a bench and then out to my car when I was strong enough. I drove home, all 4 mins of it, and climbed into bed. I woke up 2 hrs later running for the toilet as vomit lurched it’s way up my throat. I would spend the next few hours running to the bathroom and passing out and having my mum find me in interesting positions, unconscious on the floor between my bed and the bathroom.

I’m a moron. I know I have an ulcer. Why the fuck did I eat really spicy chili three days in a row? But jesus Christ – the pain. I’m okish now, my stomach is empty, I’m beginning to be able to keep down water and my head is pounding a little less, although a have a rather large goose egg from meeting the floor.

I am dumb. But. The boys in my life are being rather sweet to me, and Bella seems to know I am sick which is so cool, and cute. And I think if I can just sleep everything will be ok.




*when I say that I went out with friends, I really mean that I went out with a boy that wants in my pants and some of his friends. Cause Eric and I had tentative plans, and it’s my fault that I told him to go out with his buddies and call me later if he wanted me to come over, so it’s my own fucking fault that I had nothing to do on a Saturday night. But I’m shallow and insecure, so I decided to go hang out with some guy who makes me feel wanted and sexy. It’s counterproductive and not healthy I know. But… bleh. I didn’t make any ‘bad decisions’ so..