Where you going? My one true love,

You understand me like no one does,

So who is going to save me now?

He said She said - Joe Purdy

Sunday.

He expressed desire for me to come over. It sounds weird. But, he usually doesn’t. He frames his invitations in ways that make it sound like I can come over if I want to. It used to really bother me. I always felt like he didn’t really want to hang out. I think I’ve figured out that he invites me this way so that if I don’t come, it doesn’t hurt him. He wants me there, otherwise he wouldn’t tell me to come over whenever I want to. He wouldn’t have told me where the hidden key was. But still. It was nice to hear.

I went over. We watched ‘the’ worst movie on the face of the planet. Hard Luck – Wesley Snipes and Cybill Shepard. Yep. You read correctly. What a pair eh? We made out. It was hot. At one especially lusty point I asked if there was a line I couldn’t cross. He said no. I said are you sure. He said yes. So. I went down. It was fantastic. It’s the wrong time of month for him to reciprocate, but I’m glad someone got relief. I’m also really interested in the idea that there wasn’t a line for me to cross. I’ve always felt like there was a line that we were slowly pushing forward. It’s a little scary actually. The longer it takes for us to sleep together, the more pressure there is.

I know everyone in a new relationship says this. But. I’ve never felt like this before. Maybe a little bit with Joel at the beginning. Maybe. I’m not sure. I think with Joel at the beginning I just wanted someone to chase and it got out of hand. When Eric and I part I feel a little sad. With most people I feel relief when they leave. With him every date seems too short. Every moment too brief.

I’m falling. It’s wonderful and terrifying.

It’s funny. I know I’m falling because I don’t want to write anything bad about him on here. I don’t want to write anything that would make anyone think poorly of him. I want to protect him.


Tuesday.

So my parents have been harassing me about meeting Eric. I kinda think that at only a month and a half, it might be kinda early, but I live with my parents for free, so their happiness equals my happiness. And. I do really like him. And I am of the school where you introduce people to your family a little bit at a time, because big huge family events are overwhelming. Oh. And I don’t like people. ;)

So I was scared. What would they talk about? Would they like each other?

So. My mum made lasagna. He came over. He was great. Chatty and friendly. I’m still not sure what my parents thought, but I’m sure I’ll find that out tonight. He was really good though. I was proud of him. At 9 we left and went and saw Stranger than Fiction. It was good. Not funny. But thought provoking. On the way there he asked me if I would tell him if my parents didn’t like him. I’m glad that he cares about what they think. Not too much. Not so much that its annoying. But enough that I know he cares about me. Enough that there won’t be major conflicts in the future regarding my parents.


So. This coming weekend he is going to deer camp. I’ve been invited to the Sault to see Roger (6’4, 20 and really really beautiful) and to Detroit to see Chris (6’8 from PEI, he’ll be there for 34 hrs). I’m incredibly sexually frustrated. Pato says I’m a “Loose cannon ready to go off.” And. I know that if I go in either direction I could get fucked if I wanted to. But I want Eric.

Pato also says that since I haven’t had sex since August. I’m a virgin again. Awesome.