I'm not calling for a second chance,
I'm screaming at the top of my voice,
Give me reason, but don't give me choice,
Cos I'll just make the same mistake again.

I've heard that this wedding planning causes stress. And I thought I understood it. I mean, its understandable that a lot of decisions + a lot of money X one of the most important events in my life would = stress. For the most part, I've found the planning process fun. I like decorating, paper crafts, throwing parties, etc so it's been good. I'm getting a little tired of the constant decision making and the constant doubting that I made the right decision, but my real stress is coming from disappointment.

Disappointment stemming from how the people closest to me react. I don't think I'm being demanding, seems reasonable to me that its the people closest to me who should be the most excited and helpful, and that hasn't really been the case. My Mum for example is driving me crazy. To give her credit she is taking on more of a role than the Mother of the Bride usually does, she's also the baker and since all my girls are far away she's my main sounding board. But, when I showed her the earrings that I bought to wear, her reaction was not, "ohhh cute" or anything like that, the reaction was "Oh, I was going to wear pearls." WTF? When I was trying to decide between 2 pairs of shoes, instead of helping me, or having a discussion about which would best match my dress, she asked if she could wear the steve madden ones. WTF?

Josh has been amazing, he's so supportive, understanding and helpful, but he can't help make decor or attire decisions due to his maleness, and he has so many wedding related jobs and chores to do already.

I consider myself a pretty low key bride. I want everyone to be comfortable and look amazing, hence why my girls are wearing dresses, shoes, jewelry etc of their choosing. We're not going on a honeymoon cause we would rather spend the money on entertaining our loved ones who are coming from far away. We are trying to be as thoughtful and aprreciative of our amazing guests as possible, is it crazy for me to think that as the bride I deserve a few perks? Like maybe first pick at earrings or shoes?

Girls who read this blog - I need you. I feel like I'm doing this all by myself and that no one cares. I know that for most people that this day that is fast approaching is just a big party, maybe it's even kind of annoying that they have to travel and spend money, to attend aforementioned big party. But for me it's the day I get to marry my best friend. The one day in my life when all of my loved ones will be in the same room. And I'm starting to feel like it's important to only me.