I've been watching your world from afar,
I've been trying to be where you are,
And I've been secretly falling apart, I'll see.
To me, you're strange and you're beautiful,
You'd be so perfect with me but you just can't see,
You turn every head but you don't see me.
Strange and Beautiful - Aqualung

I can’t believe that it is Friday. Wow. This week has flown by. It’s 10:30pm right now. Last Friday at 10:30 pm I was an hour East of Pittsburgh heading towards Baltimore. Heading towards G. Wow. What a difference a week makes. Last weekend I was running all over DC like a crazy person. Running towards a man I’d never met. This weekend I am sitting on my ass watching “America’s got Talent.” UGH. What a waste of time this show is. Although I am amused by Regis’ pink shirt.

The Rundown.

Friday – go to bed at 3am. wake up at 6am. attempt to finish homework. dye hair. jump in shower. at noon get in car and drive for hours and hours. arrive in Baltimore area. get lost in G’s neighbourhood. clear heart from throat as he gets in the car. hope i smell good. avoid eye contact for the first 30 mins because of nerves. meet 15 cats. tour house. meet amazing roomies. be surprised at how cute G is. head for bed around 2am. have trouble sleeping b/c of excitement.

Saturday – wake up around 10. hang out with G petting kitties in jammies. can't stop making eye contact. meet other awesome roomies. shower. eat. awesome discussion at lunch table re: women and math. be grossed out by ion cleanse. vow to eat better. buy baby clothes at target. quiet G’s racing heartbeat (doesn’t do clothes shopping). drive roomies to the airport, walk around beautiful park. get huge blister. go to dinner. almost die laughing at over the hedge. feel electric shocks as fingers graze knees. great conversation. think that everything he says is funny/profound. sparks flying. sleep grudgingly.

Sunday – wake up around 9. do homework :(. shower. head to Virginia. air and space museum. have blister break all over shoe – ew. head to DC. Washington mall and memorial. 98 degrees ouside. Pennsylvania ave. University of Maryland graduate nerd department. great conversation. dinner. check out vacation pics. want to touch him. rent movie. both sit as close as possible without touching. fall asleep on couch. sleep.

Monday – wake up at 5am, do homework, shower, say goodbye to kitties, say goodbye to G. drive. wonder if i'll ever see him again.

Tuesday – homework. dinner with parents. wonder

Wednesday – homework. stew

Thursday – homework. wonder

Friday – homework. couch sitting. stew

So you can see how disappointing the last few days have been. I want to be nearer to him. I know this has potential. I wonder if there is any reality in it. I want to talk to him about it, but we seem to have a nice little post visit bubble going on. Lots of talking, not a lot of talking about that things I really want to know.

Can you see me? For what I am? For what I want to be?