You swore you'd never be the same.
Miss Me - Joe Purdy

8/24/2006 3:20:58 PM Andrew: hey
8/24/2006 3:21:08 PM me: how's it going/
8/24/2006 3:21:43 PM Andrew: not bad you?
8/24/2006 3:21:54 PM me : pretty good.
8/24/2006 3:22:02 PM Andrew: thats good
8/24/2006 3:22:18 PM me: i'm still in bed. it's awesome.
8/24/2006 3:22:23 PM Andrew: hehe nice
8/24/2006 3:22:32 PM me: not totally true. i got out for a shower.. and am back..
8/24/2006 3:22:40 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 3:23:06 PM me: so are we hanging out tomorrow then? or are you busy?
8/24/2006 3:23:49 PM Andrew: not sure, when are you gonna be in town?
8/24/2006 3:23:59 PM me: not sure.
8/24/2006 3:24:05 PM me: i'm flexible.
8/24/2006 3:24:14 PM Andrew: :)
8/24/2006 3:24:22 PM Andrew: hmmm really? :P
8/24/2006 3:24:26 PM me: hahaha.
8/24/2006 3:24:42 PM Andrew :P
8/24/2006 3:24:46 PM me: yes. but you're not putting anything in my ass.
8/24/2006 3:24:48 PM me: :D
8/24/2006 3:24:52 PM Andrew: hehehe
8/24/2006 3:26:48 PM Andrew: so anywhere but the ass?
8/24/2006 3:26:51 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 3:27:46 PM Andrew : i guess i'm ok with that :P
8/24/2006 3:27:52 PM me: LOL
8/24/2006 3:28:17 PM me: how's work?
8/24/2006 3:29:32 PM Andrew: not bad
8/24/2006 3:30:29 PM Andrew: hows bed?
8/24/2006 3:30:34 PM me: awesome.
8/24/2006 3:31:37 PM me: i've been in GR the last few days. So it's nice to relax.
8/24/2006 3:32:37 PM Andrew: cool
8/24/2006 3:35:07 PM Andrew: bed does sounds good
8/24/2006 3:35:52 PM me: course i would pretty much always take bed over...a computer lab... or well... pretty much anything.
8/24/2006 3:37:19 PM Andrew: hehe are we talking about things not in your ass :P
8/24/2006 3:38:32 PM Andrew: hehe so are you saying you'd like to.... uh how do i say it softly.... plow me?
8/24/2006 3:38:34 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 3:38:45 PM me: excuse me?
8/24/2006 3:38:49 PM me: jesus andrew.
8/24/2006 3:38:50 PM Andrew: hehehe
8/24/2006 3:38:53 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 3:38:54 PM me: you’re a funny kid.
8/24/2006 3:39:08 PM Andrew: work has rotted my brain
8/24/2006 3:39:35 PM me: i'm glad its work and not syphilis.
8/24/2006 3:39:59 PM Andrew: hehe naw it's work, work sucks
8/24/2006 3:41:34 PM me: you get off at 5 though right?
8/24/2006 3:41:59 PM me: :) bright side.
8/24/2006 3:42:03 PM Andrew: :)
8/24/2006 3:44:38 PM Andrew: so whats up with you?
8/24/2006 3:44:38 PM Andrew: :)
8/24/2006 3:45:10 PM me: in general? i'm in bed. it's awesome.
8/24/2006 3:45:23 PM me: i'm going to be in canada for the weekend. and school starts on monday. .
8/24/2006 3:45:26 PM Andrew: hehe what are you doing in bed, just chatting?
8/24/2006 3:45:37 PM me: oh. i'm blogging. :)
8/24/2006 3:45:41 PM me: i'm a huge nerd.
8/24/2006 3:45:46 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 3:46:19 PM me: it's getting chilly with the breeze off the water though.
8/24/2006 3:46:23 PM me: i need another blanket.
8/24/2006 3:46:58 PM Andrew: hehe good stuff
8/24/2006 3:47:45 PM me: you're the most giggly boy that i know.
8/24/2006 3:50:30 PM me: so what's new with you?
8/24/2006 3:50:43 PM me: hot dates? potato guns?
8/24/2006 3:50:49 PM me: massive destruction?
8/24/2006 3:51:19 PM Andrew: hehe none of the above unfortunately
8/24/2006 3:52:57 PM me: that's too bad.
8/24/2006 3:53:01 PM Andrew: ya i know
8/24/2006 3:53:06 PM me: how's your friend?
8/24/2006 3:53:08 PM Andrew: how about you?
8/24/2006 3:53:10 PM Andrew: good
8/24/2006 3:53:36 PM me: I don't have a potato gun.
8/24/2006 3:53:46 PM Andrew: i can make one for you
8/24/2006 3:53:51 PM me: :D thanks!
8/24/2006 3:53:55 PM Andrew: he's planning on moving out soon
8/24/2006 3:54:01 PM me: oh. that's cool.
8/24/2006 3:54:16 PM Andrew ya
8/24/2006 3:54:18 PM me: looking forward to having the place to yourself?
8/24/2006 3:54:23 PM me: or looking for another roomie?
8/24/2006 3:54:32 PM Andrew: ya but the bill's are gonna be huge again
8/24/2006 3:54:42 PM Andrew: might need another roomie
8/24/2006 3:54:55 PM me: you could get a hot one :)
8/24/2006 3:55:18 PM Andrew: hehe i can't even find a hot date let alone home rommie
8/24/2006 3:55:20 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 3:55:22 PM me: hahaha.
8/24/2006 3:55:30 PM me: true.
8/24/2006 3:55:55 PM me: i guess it depends on the definition of "hot"
8/24/2006 3:56:14 PM me: I have no trouble finding guys who I think are cute. But I'm tired of them being dumb as bricks.
8/24/2006 4:01:05 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 4:01:50 PM Andrew: so what category to i fall into, not as dumb but fugly?
8/24/2006 4:01:51 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 4:02:20 PM Andrew: your not alone i have the same problem
8/24/2006 4:02:39 PM me: haha.
8/24/2006 4:02:48 PM me: your in a category all you're own.
8/24/2006 4:02:54 PM Andrew: hehe nice
8/24/2006 4:03:04 PM Andrew: what cat. is that?
8/24/2006 4:03:25 PM me: the "awesome except for the lack of interest in me" category.
8/24/2006 4:03:48 PM me: but also the "builds potato guns" category.
8/24/2006 4:03:56 PM me: cross referenced.
8/24/2006 4:05:11 PM Andrew: hehe is the builds potato guns cat. a bad one?
8/24/2006 4:05:26 PM me: haha. no. why would you think that?
8/24/2006 4:06:01 PM Andrew: some would see it as a phyco tactic :P
8/24/2006 4:07:10 PM me: haha. i thought we cleared up all the psycho business?
8/24/2006 4:07:35 PM me: perhaps a tad immature. but aren't we all?
8/24/2006 4:07:35 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 4:07:47 PM Andrew ya it's some harmless fun
8/24/2006 4:08:33 PM me: brb
8/24/2006 4:08:45 PM Andrew: ok
8/24/2006 4:08:51 PM Andrew: getting a blanket?
8/24/2006 4:09:49 PM me: nope phone. :)
8/24/2006 4:13:28 PM Andrew: http://www.sootoday.com/content/news/full_story.asp?StoryNumber=19276
8/24/2006 4:13:34 PM Andrew: ya i hear ya
8/24/2006 4:13:42 PM Andrew: the link is about the bridge strike
8/24/2006 4:13:56 PM me: um. bridge strike?
8/24/2006 4:14:25 PM Andrew: ya canadian customs walked off today, so traffic is crazy
8/24/2006 4:14:43 PM me: awesome. you're looking forward to going home then?
8/24/2006 4:14:43 PM Andrew: it'll take a hr to get home tonight
8/24/2006 4:14:45 PM Andrew: my guess
8/24/2006 4:14:51 PM me: :(
8/24/2006 4:14:52 PM Andrew: ohya
8/24/2006 4:15:05 PM Andrew: good thing i have tunes :P
8/24/2006 4:15:16 PM me: for sure.
8/24/2006 4:15:24 PM me: you should just come visit me instead.
8/24/2006 4:15:25 PM me: haha
8/24/2006 4:18:09 PM Andrew: ah but is there room in your bed for me?
8/24/2006 4:18:16 PM Andrew: so 45min?
8/24/2006 4:18:25 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 4:18:39 PM me: hehehe.
8/24/2006 4:18:45 PM me: oh. there is always room for you. :)
8/24/2006 4:19:06 PM me: what's with all the striking.
8/24/2006 4:19:11 PM me: what are they striking about?
8/24/2006 4:19:14 PM Andrew: not sure
8/24/2006 4:20:07 PM Andrew: hmm so are you saying you'd be up for fun even if i'm not looking for anything right now?
8/24/2006 4:20:53 PM me: i was joking about you coming here.
8/24/2006 4:21:23 PM Andrew: hehe
8/24/2006 4:21:25 PM Andrew: aawww
8/24/2006 4:21:27 PM Andrew: :P
8/24/2006 4:21:31 PM Andrew: i want a nap
8/24/2006 4:21:44 PM me: you get one on your way home. :)
8/24/2006 4:22:31 PM Andrew: hehe i guess i do :P
8/24/2006 4:22:42 PM meg: the "fun" is kinda tempting though. :)
8/24/2006 4:22:53 PM Andrew: really? :)
8/24/2006 4:22:58 PM Andrew: i think so too
8/24/2006 4:23:42 PM me: feels kinda complicated though.
8/24/2006 4:23:59 PM Andrew: how so?
8/24/2006 4:24:09 PM me: i think it might make it hard to be friends.
8/24/2006 4:25:16 PM me: usually. in situations where all i do is mess around.. I don't really like the guy that much. (ie he's too stupid) but you're not. you're sweet and smart and all that...
8/24/2006 4:25:34 PM me: so if we are kinda friends. and we mess around. and you really don't want anything. i think it's going to be messy.
8/24/2006 4:26:00 PM Andrew: ah ok i see what your saying
8/24/2006 4:26:39 PM Andrew: well would you want me to say stupid thing? like scream "he shoots he scores" at the end? :P
8/24/2006 4:26:50 PM me: hhahaaaa
8/24/2006 4:26:56 PM me: oh god you're a nerd. :)
8/24/2006 4:28:21 PM me: from a more friendship perspective. I didn't know that you weren't really looking for anything. In general? Or.. just with me?
8/24/2006 4:29:09 PM Andrew: i actually don't know what i want right now, i just feel lonely, like something is missing
8/24/2006 4:29:18 PM me: that's tough.
8/24/2006 4:29:44 PM me: I understand it though. I think.
8/24/2006 4:29:46 PM Andrew: ya but what can you do
8/24/2006 4:30:17 PM me: I've had more sex in the last few months.. than ever before.. but still... there is a bit of an empty feeling.
8/24/2006 4:31:41 PM Andrew: ya, i've felt like that for a few yrs now, i think thats why i broke up with my g/f
8/24/2006 4:32:07 PM me: wow. how long ago was that?
8/24/2006 4:32:14 PM Andrew: few months ago
8/24/2006 4:32:26 PM me: crazy. :(
8/24/2006 4:32:41 PM Andrew: ya i just feel lonely
8/24/2006 4:32:47 PM Andrew: know what i mean
8/24/2006 4:32:52 PM me: def.
8/24/2006 4:34:10 PM me: it's weird too. cause you can fill you life with stuff. That's what i keep doing. Taking on too much. Leaving no time for anything. No time to be lonely. But it still sneaks in.

So. He knows I dig him. We've had this convo before. He's moving. His friend likes me. Every reason why even though he really likes me he "can't" start anything. So. Up to this point, I'm thinking he's just really nice and he's not attracted to me. But. Obviously thats not the case.

Lately we've had awesome conversations. He wants to hang out. He wants to be friends. This doesn't feel like friends. This feels like I'm not good enough to date, but I'd be a good fuck buddy. And he knows I have feelings for him. So he knows that it's going to be messy. So my friendship isn't worth saving either.

At first I entertained the delusion that maybe he was really into me. Maybe he thinks about me. Maybe he wants to give it a try but he's scared. I'm thinking I'm giving him too much credit. I think he is just trying to get in my pants.

I think I'm most disappointed not because he doesn't want to date me, but because I thought he was a good person. I though he had potential. But my Mr. Right doesn't act like this.