See my eyes, they carry your reflection,

Watch my lips and hear the words I'm telling you,

Give your trust to me and look into my heart and show me,

Show me what you're doing,

So sit on top of the world and tell me how you're feeling,

What you feel now is what I feel for you.

Take My Hand - Dido

He arrived bearing the most beautiful bouquet. “Pink,” he said, “because you love pink.” Then he smiled at me, and I thought I was going to turn inside out. He has this spell over me. I’ve never felt so comfortable and so at ease with a person, and still have my heart beat so hard that I wonder if it is visible through my chest. When he looks at me, when he touches me, I just melt into this puddle of ridiculousness. I have no idea how he can be so amazing, understanding, smart, sweet, compassionate, interesting, funny, cute… I just I have yet to be able to put how I feel for him into words. He makes me speechless. I don’t know what god I was praying to, but apparently it worked, cause I have never felt so lucky in my life.

We window shopped. We walked around. Flirted and Teased. We made conversation with old people about the hazards of Polio. We grocery shopped. He met my Dad. My Dad offered him pie (that’s a good sign). We ate dinner at the bar at Applebee’s and commented on how sad it is that people get hammered at Applebee’s. We watched movies. We cuddled. He kissed me. I kissed him back. I discovered that I can straddle him comfortably. It was the easiest and most comfortable date ever. I feel like I’ve known him for my whole life, and yet I have this insatiable desire to take all of his clothes off.

I think I’m addicted to the feeling of his skin on mine. His fingers in my hair. His lips on my neck. Our hearts pounding in a syncopated rhythm.

This feeling is so strange. Wonderful, but strange. In every other relationship I’ve ever had, there have been things that from the very beginning I have to learn to accept. There have always been exceptions. The “He’s a great guy, but…” but I don’t feel like that with Josh at all. I hesitate to say that he is perfect, because no one is. But I’m not sure that there is anyone out there, more perfect for me. For the first time, this one is as far as I’m looking. I’ve taken all my profiles down. I’m putting all my eggs in one basket. I want him. Or no one.

I know this sounds like crazy talk, given that we’ve met so few times, but, they always say that when you feel it, you feel it. And, I’ve always thought it was hooey. Until now.

I hurt to be away from him. My heart aches when we are apart. The thought of spending the rest of my life with him, doesn’t scare me. It excites me. I’ve fallen so hard and so fast for this boy, that I’m dizzy.

Maybe next week, he will tell me that I’m not the one. Maybe he’ll call the whole thing off. But I don’t care. I’m beyond common sense. I’m beyond rationality. I’m completely intoxicated by this boy, and I never want to be sober again.