You don't mistreat me like those other girls do,
It's a wonder I don't fall in love with you.
You take the train and come visit me,
Sometimes I drive to you,
We speak of hearts broken and you lick my wounds.
It's a Wonder - Joe Purdy

Hello friends.
Sorry this has been a while coming. Life has been kinda complicated over the last week or so. Good complicated. The kind of complicated where there are too many amazing boys in ones life.

As mentioned in a previous post, I’ve met two guys. Both are amazing, smart, sweet, kind, thoughtful, the kind of guys that I don’t usually date because they have future potential. They are both cute and fun and I’ve had a blast getting to know them.

Upon first realizing the danger that I was putting myself in, by falling for two guys, I begged friends for advice. It was varied, as it always is, but it was good. I have amazing friends. I decided to meet both of them, and see for myself. They are both fantastic. I had a smashing time with both and the decision my head would have had to make would have been very hard, but my heart had other plans.

I find myself daydreaming about Josh. It is physically impossible for me to stop thinking about him. It’s voodoo. About the twinkle in his eye. About the random notes he sends me. About how his hand feels on my cheek. About how amazing he smells. About how we just seem to click. About how I cannot stop smiling when I think about him. There feels like there is something more. Sparks. Energy flowing between us.

Bill is hot. Crazy hot. And so sweet, and thoughtful and kind. But there is something missing. Something I can’t put my finger on, and something that I might not even know existed, except that I feel it with Josh. The desire to just be with him every moment of everyday. The compulsion to drop everything and run to his side.

I hate that Bill will be disappointed. I hate it when people feel that way about me, like I let them down. But – I no longer feel conflicted. And it feels good.