I like your pants around your feet
I like the dirt that's on your knees
And I like the way you still say please While you're looking up at me
You're my favourite damn disease.


Figured You Out - Nickelback




This post is about sex.
This post is about how I had some of the greatest sex I’ve ever had last week.
This post is going to be graphic.
You’ve been warned.

The tension had been building for a few days. We are not able to see each other nearly enough, and due to weird schedules, have only been averaging once a week. So when “the night” comes, I’m ready.

Earlier in the week we’d been talking about sex. Which we don’t often do. I was interested to see what was in his porn collection. He’s not very vocal about anything, especially what he wants in bed (I’m working on that) so I was hoping to find some hidden nuggets of fetish in his DVD collection. No such luck. A smattering of everything. Nothing atypical. Pretty much your run of the mill porn. He’s not into big boobs, which is good for me since my breasts seem to be shrinking out of proportion to the rest of me. But other than that he “likes everything” and “has done everything” the last one shocked me a little. Cause, I’ve had way way more partners than he has, and I am far from having done “everything.” But, the girl he dated for 9 years was somewhat adventurous. Which is good and bad for me. So, as I asked him to give me some details, so I could know what I was dealing with, I became a little overwhelmed, and scared that our sex life was boring. Upon voicing these fears I was reassured that I do something that he always wanted her to do but she never would and that makes me more fun than she ever was. Blow jobs. Awesome. Since I’m a big fan of the blowjob this pleases me. It also pleases me that I am dating a boy who thinks getting blow jobs are more fun than double penetration and pole dancing. Hurray. Brownie points!

So. A few nights later, I decide to blow his mind. There is kissing. There is fondling. And I find myself on my knees. Now girls, in my opinion there is nothing more fun than bringing a guy to the brink, and then teasing, over and over. I did this for long enough that he started making slightly whimpery noises. At which point I straddled him. Now, I’m short and uber stumpy. And he is a big guy. So girl on top is usually pretty awkward and not that fun. However, with him sitting on the couch, and a booster seat of cushions on either side and I was good to go.

Jesus Christ. I’m scared of the noises that came out of my mouth. I couldn’t even walk after. I could barely breathe.

God. I need more of this.