Well many a night I found myself
with no friends standing near
All of my days
I cried aloud
I shook my hands
What am I doing here
All of these days
For I look around me
And my eyes confound me
And it’s just too bright
As the days keep turning into night
Now I see clearly
It’s you I’m looking for
All of My Days - Alexi Murdoch
The last week or so has been ridiculous. I feel as though I would be sitting here without my head, having lost it somewhere in the process, if it was not securely attached. Last week I had a big presentation due in a class and I spent the weekend in class in Flint. Whew. I kinda just want to sit down and close my eyes.
My presentation went really well. I seem to have figured out how school works. It’s become more enjoyable than it ever was before and my grades are better than I ever would have thought. If only I had gotten my ass in gear when I was at Laurier – how different my life would be.
Spending the weekend in Flint is always an experience. My class is really interesting. It’s about diversity in the classroom, but pretty much all we do is talk about things that make people uncomfortable. Since my prejudices are different than most peoples, for example I have a real issue with old Christian ladies, but couldn’t care less about transexualism. I feel pretty comfortable in the class, and it’s really interesting/frustrating to listen to other people talk about their prejudices. I spend a lot of time being scared that they are teachers.
When in Flint I spend Saturday night in a hotel by myself. It’s cool and weird all at the same time. I love hotels. I love the endless supply of hot water. Having piles of clean towels. Sliding into a freshly made bed, that I didn’t have to make. Walking down the hall to get ice and pop from a machine. The chlorine smell from the pool on my skin. The feeling like I’m on my own little vacation and that I can do whatever I want. Order room service? Have candy bars for dinner? Have a two hour long bath? Spend all night watching reality TV? But, as often happens with that “I can do whatever I want cause I’m alone” feeling, comes loneliness as well. The feeling that this would be so much better if Eric were here. If it was him that I wrapped myself around instead of the pillow. If I had him to share the massive King sized bed with.
Speaking of Eric. Things are good, I think. They are normal and comfortable and safe. I’m going to stop over thinking. Well. I am going to try to stop over thinking. Allow myself to enjoy the moment. Allow myself to be happy and ok.
The picture above is of the break wall in the Petoskey harbor. It was so freaking cold that day.I took a picture of it for my photography class mostly because there is not so many interesting things to take pictures of in the Winter, in Petoskey. But I like this pic. I like what the breakwater stands for, protecting the beach and the boats from the big waves. Providing a boundary for those who aren’t ready to go out into the big water. An interesting metaphor.
My presentation went really well. I seem to have figured out how school works. It’s become more enjoyable than it ever was before and my grades are better than I ever would have thought. If only I had gotten my ass in gear when I was at Laurier – how different my life would be.
Spending the weekend in Flint is always an experience. My class is really interesting. It’s about diversity in the classroom, but pretty much all we do is talk about things that make people uncomfortable. Since my prejudices are different than most peoples, for example I have a real issue with old Christian ladies, but couldn’t care less about transexualism. I feel pretty comfortable in the class, and it’s really interesting/frustrating to listen to other people talk about their prejudices. I spend a lot of time being scared that they are teachers.
When in Flint I spend Saturday night in a hotel by myself. It’s cool and weird all at the same time. I love hotels. I love the endless supply of hot water. Having piles of clean towels. Sliding into a freshly made bed, that I didn’t have to make. Walking down the hall to get ice and pop from a machine. The chlorine smell from the pool on my skin. The feeling like I’m on my own little vacation and that I can do whatever I want. Order room service? Have candy bars for dinner? Have a two hour long bath? Spend all night watching reality TV? But, as often happens with that “I can do whatever I want cause I’m alone” feeling, comes loneliness as well. The feeling that this would be so much better if Eric were here. If it was him that I wrapped myself around instead of the pillow. If I had him to share the massive King sized bed with.
Speaking of Eric. Things are good, I think. They are normal and comfortable and safe. I’m going to stop over thinking. Well. I am going to try to stop over thinking. Allow myself to enjoy the moment. Allow myself to be happy and ok.
The picture above is of the break wall in the Petoskey harbor. It was so freaking cold that day.I took a picture of it for my photography class mostly because there is not so many interesting things to take pictures of in the Winter, in Petoskey. But I like this pic. I like what the breakwater stands for, protecting the beach and the boats from the big waves. Providing a boundary for those who aren’t ready to go out into the big water. An interesting metaphor.
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