Many's the time I ran with you down

The rainy roads of our old town

Many the lives we lived in each day

And buried altogether

Don't laugh at me

Don't look away

Bedshaped - Keane

Other than the Eric situation, my life has had some interesting twists and turns lately. I cut all my hair off (as you can see). It was becoming increasingly damaged, harder and harder to manage because of said damage and I felt like the whole world was looking at me, and thinking what I think when I see a girl with fried hair "why the hell doesn't she cut that off?" In reality, it probably wasn't as bad as I thought, but that mixed with a little procrastination and some desire for change ends me with a pixie cut circa barclee 1999. It's strange what cutting your hair like this does. I go through periods of loving it, like when I get out of the shower and it takes 3 minutes to style, and hating it. It feels really nice and soft. It's fun and easy. But it's strange that something that makes me spend less time on my appearance makes me think about it more. I'm a little worried that Eric will hate it. Well. I know he will hate it. I just hope.. I dunno..

I also had a really interesting conversation with my Mum the other day. My parents have been really awesome through the dating of all these guys. They really just want me to be happy. But with every guy I talk about - they want to know if he is a Christian... because you know "it's important to date someone who believes the same as you." The thing is - I no longer believe what they believe. I'm not into Christian guys and they aren't into me either. So. I had the talk with my Mum. It kinda felt like I was coming out of the closet. My parents don't like my lifestyle, but they still love me. Strange eh? It was tense and hard to say the things I needed to say - but I feel a lot better now. I feel less like I need to hide. I feel more like myself.

Additionally. And some what out of the blue. Yesterday I sent my highschool boyfriend a note on facebook. Nothing threatening, or really all that interesting.. just a little "hey, it's been a long time, how are you, best wishes" kinda thing. I was feeling like I was being a jerk for not saying hi since we have tons of mutual friends. I honestly wasn't expecting a reply. I didn't think he wanted to be friends, but, I didn't think that he hated me either. I became aware of that this morning when I woke up to a curse filled email telling me that I was a psycho and a stupid bitch and that I should fuck off. Interesting. I'm trying to be thick skinned about it. But seriously - what the hell? Why would he be this angry with me? I don't get it.

Boys are so confusing.